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The Surf-Interview

I am interviewing my younger brother about his thoughts on Surfing. We are all mostly amateurs, but imagine that we do know what we are saying. But we all try our best so we attempt to figure out why we aren’t doing quite as well. And before you ask, we all did lessons, so we have a general idea for how to surf.

Me: Do you think surfing is worth the effort in having to lug those huge foam boards from Arizona to here?

Brother: Yes, I agree that its kind of cheaply made its just an eight-foot foam board from Costco. Something to practice with, nothing too serious. If we get thwacked on the head from our inexperience we won’t have to spend a day in urgent care for it. In the future, I hope to get a vinyl round top.

Me: Wait, whats a vinyl round top?

Brother: Oh, its when the surfboards edged round out at the end rather than at a point. Like for example, some of the smaller surfboards have that sharp edge which cuts through the water. Anyway, I feel like if we had access to Big Surf (in Arizona) we might be able to practice more often and maybe even do much better than we are doing currently. My biggest problem currently is that I am unable to get the correct distance to stand up.

Me: Wait, what does that mean, you don’t have enough room? Maybe just go out farther?

Brother: I would, but I saw other people go only half the distance I go and still catch waves.

Me: Uh, ok I would like to disagree with you, but that would take too much time.

Brother: Hey don’t be like that man, I only go as far as necessary, no need to risk my self any more than I do. I don’t see you with any surfboard, heading out into the water.

Me: Ok, ok, no need to be like that, let’s move on… So, uh, what do you think about shortboards?

Brother: I think they are great for getting more direction and control as well as allowing greater stylization on the waves. Wait, hey, can you stop doing that.

Me: DoiNG whaT!?

Brother: Chewing so loudly, I can’t think.

Me: I’m not chewing…

Brother: Huh, anyway, I don’t think paddleboards are a good alternative for newbies when it comes to surfboards. Even if you need a larger board it only comes down to the skill of the surfer, so a larger board will only be a smaller crutch for a bigger problem. I mean you wouldn’t… wait, can you really please stop doing that… It is incredibly annoying.

Me: I am not Doing ANYthing… Ok

Brother: Then why do you have an egg in your mouth?

Me: Downt Bee Swilly I don’t got new egg. *gulp* See!?

Brother: Did you just eat that whole egg?

Me: Eat? No. Swallow, yes. That bird is a very interesting one, in fact, I think two African swallows can lift…

Brother: How were you chewing, when you swallow.

Me: Well, I wouldn’t say swallows chew, they have a gizzard for that…

Brother: No I mean you, how did you chew and swallow…

Me: What I chew with a swallow? Honestly, I was supposed to be a giving an interview, not taking an accusation that I am being a Python!

Brother: Fine, fine, no need to get upset, sheesh. Let’s continue…

Me: Fine then, what about a skimboard? Why don’t you bring the skimboard along to the beach instead of a surfboard? Wouldn’t that be much easier and less of a chore than having to store or prepare the foam surfboard?

Brother: Well, one can see it that way, but…. YES, MOM, I’ll BE RIGHT THERE. Come on Lucas its time to help Mom with the cleaning.

Me: Fine, let me just save this and we can be…


Published by A Human Person

I am about to start college and so I believe summer break is a perfect time to get started practicing my writing skills!

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